Dear Care Partner,

Thank you for the tender care you provide for your loved one who is living with dementia.

At times you may feel invisible. Forgotten. Unimportant. Neglected. Taken for granted.

But I see you. You are not invisible. You are not forgotten. You are IMPORTANT!

I see the sacrifices you make. The times you choose to stay at home instead of going to church. The times you call a friend to pick up a few items at the grocery store rather than going yourself. The way you prioritize your loved one’s needs over your own.

If he or she could, your loved one would say “Thank you.” They would say, “I love you” like they used to.

But they can’t. So let me say it for them.

Thank you.

For the sacrifice, for the time, for the love you demonstrate every day.

Somedays it is hard to remember it’s the dementia talking. The mood swings and personality changes are hard. The regression. Slowly saying good-bye. It’s heartbreaking.

Day after day, you help quietly, without asking for recognition or thanks.

If you are caring for your spouse, you remember the vows you said so eagerly so many years ago.

For better or worse.

In sickness and in health.

Till death do us part.

It sounded so easy then.

Today it’s hard to live out those vows.

Thank you for working so hard at it. You are giving your family an incredible gift and demonstrating unconditional love.

Care partner, you don’t have to do this alone.

You’re not breaking your vows if you ask for help. If you take a break. If you connect with a support group.

Sometimes the break means you can come back refreshed, ready to love your spouse even better than you did before.

A non-medical caregiver can sit with your loved one while you go to church.

An adult day program can provide the respite you need to go shopping, meet a friend for coffee, attend a Bible study, or join a support group where you will find others who are also walking this journey.

A memory support community can help you through the end stages, when dementia becomes too difficult to manage at home.

Care partner, you are not giving up if you ask for help. Instead, you are caring for your loved one in the best possible way.

Let me say it again.

Thank you.

I see you.

I see the way you demonstrate your love. I see the good work you do day in and day out.

You are not alone.

Melody Karick, dementia educator and consultant for ForgeWorks, was a care partner for her parents before serving as the director of memory support at Garden Spot Village. She helps businesses, churches, municipalities, first responders and families serve people living with dementia.

Melody’s certifications include Certified Dementia Practitioner, Certified Montessori Dementia Care Practitioner, Personal Care Health Administrator, Virtual Dementia Tour Certified Trainer and Positive Approach to Care. In addition, Melody leads Dementia Friendly Lancaster, a group of devoted community members, organizations and faith-based leaders as well as those who have been touched by dementia.