Enjoying the Holidays as a Care Partner for Someone Living with Dementia

Preparing for the holidays can be extremely stressful, especially when you are caring for a loved one who is living with dementia. With a bit of planning, you can make the holiday season enjoyable for everyone.

Here are a few guidelines to help you plan.

Adjust Expectations. The stress of being a care partner plus managing holiday traditions can take a toll. Taking care of your physical, mental and emotional well-being is important.​ Create realistic expectations about what you can and cannot do. Sometimes, this can create a sense of loss, especially if you traditionally hosted the holidays in your home. Give yourself permission to only do the holiday traditions you can do reasonably and still enjoy. If you have a family member who loves to host gatherings — don’t be afraid to ask them to host. It may be a blessing for them to carry on the family tradition.

It’s important to have a conversation in advance to let others know of the changes they might see in the person living with dementia. Give them tips on approach, tone, supportive stance, connection and conversations. The Alzheimer’s Association has excellent resources to help guide this conversation. ​

Some people living with dementia become confused and agitated in the evening so gathering earlier in the day may be more enjoyable for everyone. You may also want to find a quiet place where one-on-one interactions occur. ​

Consider the person living with Dementia. Invite the person living with dementia to be part of the preparation. Ask him or her to help you prepare food, wrap packages, decorate or set the table. Maintain your daily routine as much as possible and focus on activities that bring happiness; let go of things that may be overwhelming, stressful or even emotionally risky. Avoid blinking lights or plastic decorations that look like food or candy.

Adapt Gift Giving. Provide loved ones with suggestions for useful and enjoyable gifts adapted to where your loved one may be in their journey with dementia.​ Remember their preferences of gift giving before dementia. If they were an avid baker, invite them to assist in baking. If they enjoyed purchasing toys or clothing, have them assist in picking out gifts for loved ones. Online shopping can provide the reward of purchasing gifts without the stress of holiday crowds. Don’t be afraid to share gift ideas for yourself as a care partner. Gift certificates, laundry service, house cleaning, and lawn and home repairs are all good gift ideas.

Protect Everyone’s Health. Although it may be incredibly disappointing to miss a holiday event because you are not feeling well, rest assured that it is in everyone’s best interest if you stay home. Covid, RSV, flu and other viruses can sometimes be considered “just allergies” or “just a cold.” For someone living with dementia, these viruses can leave long-lasting effects. Keep in mind that visits after the holidays are enjoyable too, especially if you are not feeling well.

Caring for a loved one living with dementia can be lonely. Know in this season that you are not alone. Finding a support group can help you meet people who are walking similar journeys and give you the strength you need to keep moving forward during the holiday season and well into the New Year.

Melody Karick, dementia educator and consultant for ForgeWorks, developed the organization’s proprietary dementia training, Challenges 2 Solution. She uses this interactive training to help businesses, churches, municipalities, first responders and families serve people living with dementia. Her certifications include Certified Dementia Practitioner, Certified Montessori Dementia Care Practitioner, Personal Care Health Administrator, Virtual Dementia Tour Certified Trainer and Positive Approach to Care. In addition, Melody leads Dementia Friendly Lancaster, a group of devoted community members, organizations and faith-based leaders as well as those who have been touched by dementia.